Tuesday, September 29, 2009

September

Today is the 29th of September. It is the end of my September "funk" and the beginning of all that is good in my life. September was the month that presented many personal tragedies for me. Unimaginable pain, suffering and grief. Some years I have been so busy still getting school started that the underlying sadness was there, but not the time to actually recall the events.

This year marked the fortieth anniversary of my father's tragic and untimely death. He was 44 years old and left my mother a widow at just 39 with a one year old baby. The preceding year had also been a rough one. Mom and Dad were involved in a head on collision with Mom being 7 1/2 months pregnant and taking the brunt of the injuries. I was in college and dropped out that semester to come home and care for the family. Mom had a concussion and a severely shattered leg. She had her leg in traction when she went into premature labor. I was alone with her at the hospital. She delivered a beautiful baby girl with one leg swung in the air and not very coherent from the head injury. There are still some things about that period of my life that I can't talk about. That college semester I was home changed my life forever. I would not have a carefree period in my life for many years. My brother was sixteen, a new baby to care for, my Dad was pretty bunged up and my Mom was in a cast from her waist down her leg. When I did go back to school it all seemed very petty. I could not imagine a normal life---ever.

It was a struggle to get back on track with my education---but I knew I had to get that degree. That was the thing that would give me the ability to escape from life as I had known it. In order to get the courses that I needed, I had to live in the Home Management house, transfer to Western for a summer to get the required courses to catch up and move to Russellville, Ky to do my Student Teaching. I had just registered that day and would be living in the Home Management House the day that my father died. I couldn't stay home with my mother---I had to keep on track. Life was hard, very hard and I was torn between worry for my Mom and trying to reach my goal.

From the day my Dad died until 2005 when my Mom died---I was her support and helped her in every way that I could and helped her with raising Jodi. I loved my Mom dearly, but our roles had pretty much switched. Her life stood still and she never moved on until she died. She was sick for only a short period of time and died quickly. This was a blessing.

Jim's mother died Labor day weekend of 2002 after a lengthy battle with Cancer. She spent the last 3 months of her life in a hospital. I was alone with her when she died. This was OK, since I knew that she was going to have a hard time leaving this earth with anyone else there. We had many family discussions throughout that long, hot summer and everyone had said their private goodbyes. It happened just as I had known it would.

My brother had carotid artery surgery last week and I was so scared. He has Diabetes and the surgery is very dangerous. I know I would have worried any time it was done, but the fact that the surgery was planned for the end of September made it ten times worse for me. I couldn't shake the September curse feeling. He did remarkably well and God was good.

Last year Jim and I took a bike trip and were gone all of September--returning home the day before Jen's birthday. It was a wonderful September!! The best of my life. I caught up on many of the carefree days that I had missed in previous Septembers. I didn't realize it could be such a beautiful month.

So you see, my reruns of September are mostly, not happy thoughts and I am glad to put this month behind me! But today is different, although it is still September---the 29th--- it is my new daughter-in-law's birthday and we will begin to celebrate. Tomorrow is Jodi's birthday---we will celebrate---and then October begins. Beautiful and hopeful, with all of it's magnificent color and new beginnings. Josh's birthday is next---October 11th, then Jim's is October 12th. Brittany 's birthday is the 28th. Our 39th anniversary will be October the thirtieth and Halloween always rounds out the month. During most of my life I also celebrated National School Lunch Week the second week of October. October is busy and glorious and God's affirmation that life is good and whatever doesn't kill you----does make you stronger.

Welcome October!!!