Belonging

The word belonging is a very common word, used in everyday conversation. I started thinking about this word a week ago after attending my Business and Professional Women's monthly meeting.

I first asked Jim for his definition of belonging. He justs looks at me when I come up with some of my off the wall questions. Then he said---well that word means something that belongs to you, and I am sure he was thinking about his motorcycles.

I then searched the internet to find a usual definition. Here is what I found:
1. A personal item that one owns, a possession (Jim was right on the money).
2. Acceptance as a natural member or part: sense of belonging (that was where I was going with this)

There are many different types of belonging to, me. Yes, I belong to a family, yes I belong to a work group, Yes, I belong to my community and yes, I have always belonged in worthwhile organizations. What do you have to do to belong? You come into this world belonging to a family. It may not be the family that you would have chosen, but, there you are---you belong and there is nothing you have to do, to stay in a family and there is nothing you can do, to remove yourself. Oh yes, you can move away and disown them, but you still belong. Other types of belonging take some type of effort, loyalty, affiliation or dues.

When you get a job, you automatically become a member of a "work family", unless you work alone. Jim has worked alone the biggest part of his life---maybe that is why he doesn't have the need that I do, to belong. I think one of the hardest things for me to accept at retirement was that I no longer belonged to my work family. You see, for twenty-five years I had worked with approximately 75 amazing women. As each retired they were replaced. I have no idea how many there were in that span of time. They were my family. We worked hard and had some great times while we provided great meals for thousands of children. It was a noble profession and I was graced to have very noble ladies to walk with me. While working in School Food Service, I was fortunate to attain a leadership position in a state organization that made me belong to a much larger group of wonderful ladies. This leadership position then allowed me to meet women from all across the nation with many of the same ideals and goals--I belonged. I now refer to my alliances as the Food Service Mafia. I feel no fear in traveling anywhere in the continental US because, I know there is a lunch lady that I could find, if I ever needed help. Jim and I stayed in Sturgis,SD with one. I was able to get someone in Fayetteville AR to help with my son's wedding. I visited an old friend on my way home from LA. She was the state president of MS when I was president of KY. No one can take that from me. But I no longer belong to the Owensboro School Food Service Department. That was a huge loss for me.

I now work for an organization with a work family, but it will never be the same as my old one. It can't be the same because the people I work with aren't ALL ABOUT FOOD SERVICE. They are great people, but they will never help me raise my children, reach huge goals and raise me up and walk with me. I am grateful for all of their support and for a job that allows me to continue to feed children and to be a part of their work family.

I now know what I was missing after retirement---belonging! It took me a while to find it again. I looked in a lot of different avenues, even working as Executive Secretary for the state organization that I had led. I "kind of" belonged, but it would never be the same. In 2000, I decided that I still had a lot to give and was bored. I ran for Owensboro City Commissioner --and was defeated--but I did win inclusion in the community. I met a lot of people in my community that I would never have met. There were 17 people in that race and we were invited to many various community meetings to speak and debate. After the election, I became a member of several and was appointed to one very special board---Foster Care Review Board. I have since given up many of the organizations. As I was leaving FCRB the other day, one of my friends(who has volunteered everywhere) said, "this is the hardest volunteer job I have ever had". I agreed and then told her, it is the most important one that I do with the potential of saving children. I continue my membership in Business and Professional Women because they are a terrific and diverse group of strong ladies. The other volunteer work that I can't give up is my MOP group. It is a social group for special needs adults--I definitely belong there! I have fulfilled my need to belong.